I Will Always Love You Page 29

  In the past, Jenny had never been one for clubbing—she’d been too young when she was living in the city, Waverly was out in the middle of nowhere, and in Providence she and Nate were often in bed by ten o’clock. It wasn’t like there was anything else to do. Sure, she had acquaintances from her classes with whom she attended student art shows, and Nate had a few sailing buddies, but neither of them had any real friends. Reconnecting with Elise had reminded Jenny how important it was to have people around you who could make you snort Diet Coke out your nose, who could spend hours debating whether or not a Proenza Schouler dress for Target looked like the real thing, who could physically restrain you from making out with a cute young DJ.

  Wait, what?

  Jenny pressed the doorbell with a pink-polished finger. She shifted her weight from one Frye boot to the other, wondering if Nate would be able to sense that she’d almost kissed Tyler. Who knows if it actually would have happened. But last night while they were dancing, he just looked so cute, with his hair flopping over his hazel eyes, his T-shirt just tight enough to show off his toned arms, lip-synching the lyrics of the song that was playing because he was so into it. Just as Jenny had leaned in, Elise had grabbed her by the crook of the arm and yanked her out of the club and into a cab.

  Jenny had felt relieved, but ever since, she’d found it impossible to get Tyler out of her head. What would’ve happened if they had kissed? And if it was just an innocent lean-in, then why did she feel so guilty?

  “Come up!” Nate yelled into the intercom, interrupting Jenny’s reverie.

  Jenny climbed the winding staircase toward Nate’s top-floor bedroom. The town house always seemed spookily quiet whenever she walked in.

  “Hi.” Jenny pushed open the heavy oak door.

  “Hey!” Nate said from his corner desk, not looking up from his Mac Air. He wore a pair of red flannel Ralph Lauren boxers and no shirt. Jenny paused at the doorway. Of course she didn’t mind seeing his abs, which looked as taut and tan in December as they did in July, but he wasn’t exactly dressed for dinner.

  “Are you going to get ready soon?” She tugged at the frayed hem on the cute flapper-style dress she’d bought senior year at What Goes Around Comes Around, the vintage store in Rhinecliff.

  Nate shrugged. “I thought we’d just stay here and order in,” he said easily. One of the things he loved most about Jenny was how easy she was to be around. Back when he’d dated Blair, he’d sometimes felt like a cruise ship director, always having to come up with an activity to entertain her. But Jenny was fine lying around in bed and eating Chinese food.

  How romantic.

  “Oh,” Jenny said, disappointed. She sat on his bed, crossing her tiny legs. The clock on his nightstand read eight twenty-one. Suddenly, the evening seemed to loom endlessly in front of them. “Are you sure?” Jenny asked, already knowing the answer. Of course Nate wanted to stay in. Just like always. But Jenny was itching to go out, to do something.

  “Yeah.” Nate sat down next to her and slipped her coat off her shoulders. His fingers brushed underneath the skinny strap of her dress. “All I need is you.” He leaned over to kiss her.

  Jenny pulled away. She didn’t want to just eat takeout in bed, like they did every night in Providence. She wanted romance and intrigue and maybe a little bit of drama. She wanted to yell over music until her voice hurt.

  “I think…” Jenny trailed off and looked down at her tiny hands.

  “What’s wrong, Meow?” Nate asked, his hand at the midthigh hem of her dress.

  “I don’t think this is working,” Jenny said, gaining her voice as she went. This wasn’t just about Tyler—not really, anyway. There was a huge world out there, and Jenny needed to do more than eat spareribs in bed.

  “What?” Nate blinked. Was Jenny dumping him? “But I love you, Jen,” he said, fumbling for words.

  “I’ll always love you,” Jenny said softly. It was true. He’d always be the boy of her dreams, her Upper East Side prince. She leaned in to give him a final kiss. His lips felt warm and dry, but almost too comfortable. And right now, she needed a challenge.

  Jenny felt tears prick her eyes but brushed them away before Nate could see. She pulled her coat around her small frame.

  “’Bye,” she whispered before she ran down the stairs. Once she got outside, she hailed a cab, her heart hammering in her chest. She wasn’t sure what the future held, but she couldn’t wait to find out.

  And we’re sure it will have an awesome sound track.

  the final countdown…

  From: cbass@oxford.edu

  To: undisclosed recipients

  Subject: NYE party

  Tonight: Same time, same place, same libations, new year. The soiree’s last-minute, but you can’t allow a tradition to die without giving it a proper send-off. Bring friends, family, mistresses, strangers, and anyone you covet. Hot tub will be running.

  Who knows where we’ll be next year? Let’s make this party count.

  CB

  back to the scene of the crime

  “Are we really doing this?” Serena giggled tipsily as she clinked her highball glass against Blair’s martini. They were sitting in the Tribeca Star Lounge, filling up on liquid courage before heading upstairs to the Bass suite. Chuck had e-mailed Blair directly to say he hoped she’d come, and after reading his mass e-mail and remembering all the wild times they’d had at Chuck’s suite, she realized she wanted to.

  “It’s tradition.” Blair took a long sip of her dirty martini and let the liquid swirl around in her mouth. That was one nice thing about being single. She could drink as many martinis as she wanted and not worry about kissing someone with olive breath.

  Around them, the lounge was filling up. Next to them sat a giggling group of shiny-haired girls wearing four-inch heels and glittery eye makeup. They looked like they were in high school. Blair gaped at them in amazement. How had she and Serena ever been that young?

  Well, according to their fake IDs, they’ve always been -twenty-two.

  “Look, there’s Kati and Isabel! Hey!” Serena called, standing up and waving. She was oblivious to all the people who turned to stare at her sequined Marni shift dress riding up dangerously high on her thigh.

  “Hey!” Isabel yelled, clomping into the bar in a pair of five-inch Miu Miu Mary Janes. She wore an all-purple jumpsuit and looked like a psychedelic plumber. Her hand was intertwined with Kati’s: Kati wore a simple black dress and a huge grin on her heart-shaped face.

  “Hey.” Blair’s eyes flicked down to their hands. They were both wearing matching silver rings on their ring fingers.

  “You guys are friends again!” Serena clapped her hands in glee.

  Isabel shrugged shyly. “Yeah. I don’t know what took us so long.”

  “We’re just heading up. Are you guys ready? It’ll be just like old times, right?” Kati asked, still holding Isabel’s hand.

  Almost like old times.

  In the dim amber light of the bar, Blair’s former classmates looked almost sweet together. “Sure,” she said. She drained the rest of her drink and stood up, wavering slightly in the snakeskin thigh-high Christian Louboutin boots her father had sent her for Christmas. It was comforting that no matter how much things changed, Blair always had the best shoes in the room.

  They do say it’s the little things that give life meaning.

  “Are you sure it’ll be okay for you to see Chuck?” Serena whispered to Blair as they followed Isabel and Kati toward the elevator bank.

  “What if you see Dan?” Blair countered.

  Serena paused. She hadn’t thought about that. But she doubted Dan would be there; everyone had been invited, but parties were never his thing.

  As they reached the elevator, Serena spontaneously threw her arms around Blair’s shoulders. “I have you, who else do I need?” she exclaimed.

  “You guys are meant for each other,” Kati said, shaking her head knowingly at Isabel.

  The elevator opened and the
four girls headed down the plush gray–carpeted hall toward the suite. Inside, Blair spotted her brother setting up his DJ equipment in the corner. Jenny Humphrey was sitting on one of Tyler’s synthesizer cases, wearing a cleavage-baring black tank top, her curls piled messily on top of her head and held in place by an oversize butterfly-shaped barrette.

  Blair arched an eyebrow. She’d almost forgotten her matchmaking plan. But it looked like it had worked. Hopefully she wouldn’t regret it.

  “Wait, do you think that means Jenny and Nate are broken up?” Serena asked, following Blair’s gaze toward Jenny and Tyler.

  “I’ll find out,” Blair announced, marching toward her brother.

  In the corner, Rain Hoffstetter and Laura Salmon were mixing elaborate pastel-colored shots. Kati and Isabel clutched hands and looked fearfully toward Blair.

  “What do you think she’s going to do to Jenny?” Kati asked.

  “She can’t do anything. She has this anger management issue and she’s on probation. That’s why her mom moved back to New York. She wanted to keep an eye on her,” Rain said, downing the pink shot Laura had concocted. She wore a high-necked purple wool dress that hid her unfortunate infinity symbol tattoo.

  “That’s why she’s applying to law school,” Laura offered, slurring her words drunkenly.

  Blair picked her way through the crowd to Jenny and Tyler. Tyler’s arm was slung possessively around Jenny’s tiny shoulders as he worked the turntables. She tapped Jenny on the arm. “Come with me,” she demanded, turning on her heel without waiting for an answer.

  She led Jenny to the opposite end of the bar and pulled out one of the modern black stools. “Sit,” she ordered. Jenny meekly perched on the edge of the stool, her legs dangling like a little kid’s.

  Blair perched on a stool next to her. “Are you cheating on Nate?” she asked, getting straight to the point.

  Jenny shook her head, her curls grazing her milky white shoulders. “No. We broke up. It was just moving so fast, and I still have all of college ahead of me, and I…” Jenny babbled, glancing up at Blair’s foxlike face. Blair’s features suddenly relaxed and flashed the briefest of smiles, so small it could easily have been Jenny’s imagination. She’d been expecting Blair to scream at her, to blame her, to tell her it was ridiculous that she be the one to break up with Nate. But instead, Blair shrugged, as if to say, Do whatever you want.

  Blair arched an eyebrow at the younger girl. Well, wasn’t Jenny full of surprises? She slid off the stool. “Don’t break my brother’s heart,” she called over her shoulder. The fact that Meow Meow was over meant Nate was single. And probably heartbroken. Interesting…

  “Thanks,” Jenny said, mystified. She smiled slowly at Tyler. She didn’t think anything would happen with them tonight—but it was nice to get Blair’s blessing.

  Well, not quite, but that’s as close as she’s going to get.

  Vanessa walked into the swanky lobby of the Tribeca Star, still trying to get used to the loud clicking noise her black pumps made with every step across the marble lobby. She wore a dark blue dress from one of her favorite Williamsburg boutiques, her hair pulled into a messy bun at the back of her head. By the check-in desk, a guy in khakis and a button-down nodded appreciatively at her. Vanessa smiled. She knew she looked good. She didn’t have to prove to the world she was an artsy independent filmmaker by wearing all black and a surly expression. Maybe it was because she’d been single for a year and had finally really gotten to know herself. Maybe it was because she finally realized how much people liked her for her.

  And maybe it was because she sort of wanted to impress a certain boy?

  Vanessa rode the elevator upstairs. She’d never been to one of Chuck’s parties before, but now that she knew she was leaving New York, there seemed no reason to avoid it. Besides, she needed to talk to Dan, and she had a feeling he’d be here with Serena. After spending the night together, Vanessa had felt horribly guilty. She’d been camped out at Ruby and Piotr’s since, but she couldn’t stay there forever. She wanted to apologize for what had happened and tell Dan that while she’d always love him, it was for the best that he and Serena were together. She hadn’t meant to come between them.

  The elevator doors slid open, and several teenage girls tumbled out a door down the hall.

  “Let’s find boys to make out with!” one of them squealed, racing to the elevator. Vanessa walked through the open door, shaking her head with bemusement. There was so much material in the world, so much fodder for film.

  Especially when it comes to subjects wearing far too little material…

  The suite was crowded, and Vanessa elbowed her way through packs of people toward the open terrace, where a lone figure was facing uptown toward the Empire State Building, smoking a cigarette. Dan. Without Serena. Vanessa shivered in the night air and pulled her leather bomber jacket closer around her body.

  She tapped him on the shoulder. “Don’t you know those things will kill you?”

  Dan whirled around. Vanessa looked beautiful. Her hair was pulled back to expose her collarbones and she was wearing a sexy, formfitting dress underneath a leather jacket. She looked nothing like his Doc Marten muse. And yet…

  She looked even better.

  “Where’s Serena?” Vanessa asked, hoping she sounded more curious than confrontational.

  “Serena and I broke up…. I’m going to Iowa by myself,” he finished. He wasn’t sure what he wanted Vanessa to say, but she needed to know.

  Vanessa sucked in her breath. Dan was single. Now, when it was no use. “I’m going to Indonesia for two years.”

  “I’m glad,” Dan said earnestly. Vanessa’s face immediately fell. “I mean, I’m glad you’re doing it. But I’ll miss you,” he said. He missed her already, and she was standing just inches from his touch.

  “I will too,” Vanessa said shyly. “Iowa’s two years, right?” She rested her elbows on the concrete balcony ledge and looked down at the street below, which was surprisingly quiet for New Year’s Eve. Besides one town car idling outside the Star, there was no other traffic. The boulevard stretched wide and free in the inky night.

  “Yeah,” Dan said.

  Vanessa nodded. The more she thought about it, two years didn’t seem very long at all. After all, she and Dan had spent two years of college practically ignoring each other.

  When you put it that way…

  “Well… if you need a roommate in two years, I’m really good at making your gross coffee.”

  “And I’m good at helping you eat your heart-attack-special pizza,” Dan countered. It was crazy how they’d lived in the same orbit for so long, had dated and broken up and hooked up for years, how they’d shared an apartment when they were both together and apart. How she could still make him smile more than anyone else in the world.

  “Deal!” Vanessa said.

  She’d meant to just shake his hand, but she found herself leaning in. Her lips connected to his, slowly at first, then more insistently.

  As the shouts and music blared from inside the party, the icy wind slicing through her dress, Vanessa was suddenly reminded of another party she’d missed, another night spent out in the cold night air—the night she and Dan met. She couldn’t have scripted it better herself.

  Parting is such sweet sorrow….

  breaking the cycle… finally

  “So, do you have any New Year’s resolutions?” Serena asked, slipping down in the hot tub and letting her long blond hair fan out behind her. She’d seen Dan at one point, smoking Camels on the balcony like the angsty poet he was. She’d say hi to him later. For now, she just wanted to have fun.

  “Fuck no,” Blair murmured, taking a drag of her Merit Ultra Light and letting the ashes fall into the steaming water of the hot tub. Fuck resolutions. All she really wanted to do was have fun. For so long, her resolutions had been more like an endless list of to-dos: date Nate Archibald, get into Yale, get into law school. For once, she just wanted to go with the wind, do what
she felt like.

  Sounds like someone else we know…

  Out of the corner of her eye, Blair spotted Chuck wearing a dark red smoking jacket. She was about to get out of the hot tub to say hi, but then she saw Rain Hoffstetter sidle up to him. Blair sighed and eased back into the water.

  Just then, Serena’s phone buzzed, skittering across the marble edge of the hot tub. She grabbed it with her wet hand.

  WAITING OUTSIDE. YOU HERE?—NATE

  Serena grinned as she pulled her hair up into a high wet ponytail at the nape of her neck. She searched around the edge of the hot tub for her dress. It seemed like fate. After all, why travel the world alone when she could ask Nate to come with her?

  “Who was that?” Blair asked, glancing up at Serena.

  “I have to go,” Serena said, sliding one slippery foot into a strappy Christian Louboutin sandal. “I’ll be right back,” she fibbed, climbing out of the hot tub, slipping on her dress, and disappearing into the crowd.

  Blair stared at her friend’s retreating back. Her phone buzzed.

  WAITING OUTSIDE. YOU HERE?—NATE

  Blair blinked at the message. What the fuck? Had Serena gotten the exact same message? She pulled herself out of the hot tub, threw on her dress, even though it was silk and would stain, and raced out of the party.

  And who says all the drama happens at midnight?

  Nate glanced up at the towering Tribeca Star Hotel, his hands jammed in his pockets, unsure whether or not to go in. Part of him wanted to find Anthony or Charlie or any of the old St. Jude’s guys, fire up a gigantic bong, and flirt with as many hot girls as he could, just to prove that he still had it in him. The other part of him wanted to go back to his parents’ town house and sit in the living room and eat Jell-O pudding cups. How was it that he’d sailed the world, learned how to milk cows, debated the arguments of all the Greek philosophers, and majored in American studies at an Ivy League university—but was still as confused as ever?